Some Incredibly Inconvenient Data For College Republicans

Their khakis were pleated. I remember that much. 

It was a few days after George W. Bush somehow won re-election against John Kerry because John Kerry had read a book and enjoyed windsurfing and college Republicans at the University of Maryland’s College Park campus set up tables outside the grimy old student union, the one they tore down soon after and replaced with a soulless shopping mall food court. They handed out pamphlets and lobbed insults at students giving them the finger on their way to lunch.

These college Republicans – all of them men, almost all of them whiter than me – were peacocking after Bush’s inexplicable 2004 victory, urging campus libs to abandon their politics and join the winning team. Post-9/11 politics had been good to these kids, rooting for the ultra-nationalist team, which kicked the ass of the empire management team in 2002 and 2004. 

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I remember their smug smiles and the self satisfaction seeping from their pores. They could not be happier with the misery that surrounded them. They were an island of spiteful joy in an ocean of students wearing all-black to mourn a loss to the idiot boy king, who had been installed by friendly Supreme Court justices four years earlier. I wanted to throw my Taco Bell burrito at them, but I was hungry and had a five-hour block of classes coming up. So I ate the burrito and glared at the Bush freaks, who have – in the intervening years – surely logged on hard enough to learn to hate the former president as a RINO and a traitor to the white race, things of that nature.